Quotes from Smokey and the Bandit

[TheGeneral+]

Buford T. Justice: Hey boy, where is Sheriff Branford at?
Sheriff Branford: I AM Sheriff Branford.
Buford T. Justice: Oh, pardon me. For some reason you sounded a little taller on radio.

Buford T. Justice: Give me a diablo sandwich, a Dr. Pepper, and make it quick, I'm in a god-damn hurry.

Buford T. Justice: There's no way, no WAY that you came from my loins.

Buford T. Justice: I'm gonna barbecue your ass in molasses.

Buford T. Justice: This happens every time one of these floozies starts poontangin' around with those show folk fags.

Regarding The Bandit in a hammock
Big Enos: Son, you're looking at a legend.
Little Enos: I guess a legend and an out-of-work bum look a lot a like, daddy.

Buford T. Justice: What the hell is the world coming to?

Buford T. Justice: You sum-bitches couldn't close an umbrella.

Buford T. Justice: There is no way, NO way that you came from my loins. The first thing I'm gonna do when I get home is punch your momma in the mouth.

Buford T. Justice: What we're dealing with here is a complete lack of respect for the law.

Sheriff Branford: The fact that you are a sheriff is not germane to the situation.
Buford T. Justice: The god damn Germans got nothin' to do with it.

Buford T. Justice: And don't go home, and don't go to eat, and don't play with yourself. It wouldn't look nice on my highway.

After kicking one of the car thieves in the rear
Buford T. Justice: That's an attention-getter.

Junior: My hat blew off, daddy.
Buford T. Justice: I hope your goddamn head was in it.

Buford T. Justice: Nobody, and I mean NOBODY makes Sheriff Buford T. Justice look like a possum's pecker.
Junior: Except for that...
Buford T. Justice: Shut your ass.

Buford T. Justice: Duck, or you'll be talkin' out your ass.

Bandit: Nice matching suits. It must have been a ***** to get a 69 Extra Fat and a 12 Dwarf.

Carrie: You know from the right side, you have a nice profile.
Bandit: Yeah, I know.
Carrie: Well, at least we have something in common.
Bandit: Yeah. We both like half of my face.

Buford T. Justice: You sum *****. You did that on purpose. You're going away 'till you're gray. I got the evidence.

Bandit: What the hell was that?
Carrie: A left. Or a half a U.

Bandit: Now, you want me to drive to Texarkana, pick up 400 cases of Coors and come back in 28 hours. No problem.
Little Enos: It ain't never been done before, hot ****.
Bandit: You watch your mouth, little lady.

Little Enos: Well, if you can't do it...
Bandit: That's real good psychology. Why don't you say something bad about my mother?
Little Enos: Your momma is so ugly...

Carrie: I think I'm in love with your belt buckle.

Carrie: Don't you ever take off that stupid hat?
Bandit: I take my hat off for one thing, one thing only.
Carrie: Oh...
beat
Carrie: Take your hat off.
Bandit looks stunned
Carrie: I mean, If you want to...
Bandit: I want to.

Buford T. Justice: Just keep your eye out for that Mr. Bandit bastard!

Buford T. Justice: You want something?
Junior: Hush puppies, daddy.
Buford T. Justice: We don't got time for that crap! Dumb sumbitch!

Bandit: You must be in a hell of a hurry, huh, Sheriff?
Buford T. Justice: You bet your ass on that, boy.

Carrie: Actually, my heaviest relationship was with an acid-rock singer... named Robert Crumly. We were together, oh, eight-and-a-half days. God, I really thought that was it.
Bandit: And?
Carrie: One day, I came home and found him in the shower... with a girl... and her mother!
Bandit: Well, at least he kept it in the family.

Bandit: Cledus, get the money.
Cledus: Yeah, how 'bout the money?
Little Enos: How 'bout double or nothin'?
Cledus: How 'bout forgettin' it?
Bandit: Wait a minute. What about double or nothin'?
Little Enos: You run up to Boston, and bring back some clam chowder for me and my daddy.
Carrie: You're on.
Bandit: Uh, you're on.
Big Enos: In 18 hours?
Bandit: You're still on.

Communicating through the C.B. radio
Bandit: Sheriff, uh, Buford T. Justice, please.
Buford T. Justice: Who there?
Bandit: This is Bandit Darville talkin'.
Buford T. Justice: Where are you, you sombitch?
Bandit: Before I tell you where I am, Sheriff, there's just one thing I wanna say. You must be part coon dog, 'cause I've been chased by the best of them, and son, you make 'em look like they're all runnin' in slow motion. I just wanna say that.
Buford T. Justice: Well, thank you, Mr. Bandit. And as the pursuer, may I say you're the goddamnedest pursuee I've ever pursued. Now that the mutual bullshit is over, WHERE ARE YOU, YOU SOMBITCH?

Bandit: What do you think they do for excitement in this town?
Cledus Snow: Probably sit around and watch the cars rust.

Cledus Snow: Besides, I can't go with you. I got to go to Conyers in the morning and pick up a load of manure.
Bandit: Um, shitty job.

Cledus Snow: Atlanta to Texarkana and back in twenty eight hours? That ain't never been done before.
Bandit: That's cause *we* ain't never done it.
Cledus Snow: Suppose we don't make it?
Bandit: Hey, we ain't never not made it before, have we?

Watches as Little Enos begins counting out money
Little Enos: I'd like to kick his ass just one time.

Waynette Snow: No, Bandit! Not this time! Cledus is not goin' with you! He got in enough trouble last time! Dammit, Bandit, look at me when I'm talking to you!
Bandit: I find it hard to look at you, Waynette. With all those curlers in your hair, you look like you're tryin' to pick up a radio station in Savannah.

Bandit has just used a broken bridge to jump a river
Carrie: That was great! I want to jump something else! I want to jump a car, or a house, anything!
still shaking


Junior: You know, Daddy, I like this place. All the 'gators and snakes and stuff. Why don't we move down here?
Buford T. Justice: Why don't YOU move down here?
Junior: Oh no, Daddy, I ain't NEVER leavin' home, that's a promise.
Buford T. Justice: Don't you ever, EVER threaten yo' daddy like that again!

Buford T. Justice: Junior! Why didn't you have your gun loaded?
Junior: When I put bullets in it, Daddy, it gets too heavy.

Junior: Daddy, I got to pee-pee.
Buford T. Justice: Swallow it. I'm busy!

Carrie: Let's face it, Sinatra sang "My Way" and you sang "Let's Do Something Cheap and Superficial".

Junior: Daddy, look at that big ugly alligator
Buford T. Justice: That reminds me; I gotta call yo' mama tonight.

Cledus is standing over the Bandit, who's on the floor, drunk
Bandit: Cledus, you've gotten taller.
Cledus: Yes, and you've gotten drunker. This place looks like a shithouse!
Bandit points to the bathroom
Bandit: You want a shithouse? It's in there.

Buford T. Justice: Let me tell ya somethin', Junior. If you ever embarrass me like that again, I'm gonna get an ax, and you're never gonna have to open your fly again.

Junior: You know, Daddy, I don't think the Bandit's really bad. I think the trouble is he just got in with real bad company.
Buford T. Justice: Bad company? Let me tell ya somethin', Junior. When you raid a cathouse, you take the piano player too.


Buford T. Justice: Follow that sum *****.

Buford T. Justice: I've said it before and I'll say it again. There is no way, no way that you could come from my loins. Soon as we get home, I'm gonna put a lump on your mama's head.

Little Enos: I'd like to kick your ass.
Buford T. Justice: You can't kick that high, cricket crotch.

yelling at Junior
Buford T. Justice: Will you get away from me you ****?

Buford T. Justice: Junior, retirement is cat ****.

Junior: Daddy, my face is all white.
Buford T. Justice: Well, put a little lipstick on, I'll drop you off at a gay bar.

Buford T. Justice: That is why you gotta have a sixth sense.
Junior: I'd rather have a dime.

talking about Junior
Buford T. Justice: He's dumb... but a loveable ****.

Buford T. Justice: Gimme the good old days when a pair of boobs were a couple of dumb guys.

Buford T. Justice: I gotcha!
The Real Bandit: Hello, Buford. Well, you caught me with my pants down.
Buford T. Justice: I did?
The Real Bandit: That's a... figure of speech.




[font=verdana,arial,helvetica][size=+1]Trivia about Smokey and the Bandit Pursuit Pack:[/size][/font]

• Buford T. Justice was the name of a real Florida Highway Patrolman known to Burt Reynold's father who was once Chief of Police of Jupiter, Florida.
• The second highest grossing movie released in 1977 next to Star Wars (1977)
• According to Hal Needham on a radio show in Atlanta, the scene with the football players narrowly missed being a serious accident when, unknown to the film crew, a groundskeeper watered the grass on the field, causing the car to go out of control, slide the wrong way, and almost hit the extras.
• Near the end of the movie, one of the two Georgia State Patrol cars that block the entrance to the fairgrounds (the Oldsmobile) is equipped with an airbag (very rare for the '70s). The airbag did not deploy in that minor collision but did deploy when they purposely wrecked the car years later. That car is shown in an airbag safety film used in some traffic schools.
• The scene where Carrie announces her ending up the relationship to Bandit was written by Sally Field, who was about to break up with Burt Reynolds at the time. Burt Reynolds wanted Sally to express her feelings about the breakup on film because he wanted to know how she really felt about him.
• Jackie Gleason's brief appearance as Reginald Van Justice was a reference to Reginald Van Gleason III, a character he played throughout his TV career.
• To the chagrin of the stunt crew, the Turbo Trans Ams didn't have quite the performance they were hoping for. So to get a respectable amount of speed out of them, they installed nitrous oxide tanks.
• Although looping (an actor re-recording bits of dialogue in a studio after the film has been completed, often due to technical problems encountered while shooting) is common, the majority of Jackie Gleason's dialogue is looped; the difference in sound quality - and the fact that Gleaon's lip movements sometimes don't match the words he's heard to be saying - between Gleason's dialogue and that of other actors in the same scene with him is quite evident throughout the picture.
• Originally titled "Smokey *is* the Bandit," with Gleason, Jackie playing both the sheriff and the bandit. Test audiences were confused, however, and parts of the film were re-shot with Reed, Jerry (I) as the bandit, replacing Gleason.

 

[eldiablo]

Classic

 

[Highdaddy]

my older brother loves that movie....he always tells me the part of the movie, where some guys are stripping a car of the rims and radio or whatever. The sheriff shows up and says something like "you better slow down on that car wash boys" he ends up kicking one of the guys in the ass. It wasnt a bad movie

 

[TheGeneral+]

LOL. Good stuff. Does anyone have a still photo of sallys azz when you stuck it up it Burts face in the car?

 

[wilheim]

In memory of Smoky

 

[Buster]

A Great All Around Entertainer

See ya on the flip side, until then I'm 10-10 and on the side....

Musician, actor Jerry Reed dies at 71


http://www.dnj.com/apps/pbcs.dll/art...EWS01/80902018

Jerry Reed, country music’s howling virtuoso and a star of stage, studio and screen, has died. Born Jerry Reed Hubbard, Mr. Reed suffered from emphysema and was in hospice care. He was 71, and he leaves an unparalleled legacy of laughter and song.

By the time Mr. Reed came to popular attention as Burt Reynolds’ truck-driving sidekick “The Snowman” in the Hollywood trilogy Smokey and the Bandit, he was already a musical deity to the guitar players who admired the syncopated flurries he unleashed with a casual gleam. He was also a hit recording artist by that time, having topped the charts with “When You’re Hot, You’re Hot” and “Lord, Mr. Ford,’ and having written songs for Elvis Presley, Johnny Cash, Porter Wagoner, Brenda Lee and others. Then there was his work as session guitarist for Presley, Waylon Jennings, Bobby Bare and many others.


Mr. Reed enjoyed his comedic Hollywood roles (which included a part in the 1998 Adam Sandler film, The Waterboy), and he often smiled when movie fans would ask for an autograph without realizing that he was a singer and guitarist of significance. Music was most important to him, though. Asked by interviewer Frank Goodman which facet of music he preferred – songwriter, solo guitarist, session man or entertainer – Mr. Reed said, “Hey, that’s like trying to pick out your favorite leg.”

“There’s nothing on earth as powerful as music, period,” he told Goodman. “I mean, it’s pretty hard to fight and hate and be angry when you’re making music, isn’t it?”

As Mr. Reed’s health declined in recent years, he focused on spiritual studies and on bringing attention to veterans’ issues.

“For 50 years, all I’d done was take, take, take,” he told The Tennessean’s Tim Ghianni in 2007. “I decided from now on it is going to be giving. And I’m way behind. We’re all way behind. We live this life like what’s down here is what it’s all about. We’re temporary, son, like a wisp of smoke.”

Mr. Reed was born in Atlanta, Ga., on March 20, 1937. He was the son of cotton mill workers Robert Spencer Hubbard and Cynthia Hubbard, who divorced in their son’s first year. From fall of 1937 until 1944, the boy lived in orphanages and foster homes. He rejoined his mother when she married mill worker Hubert Howard in 1944.

Already transfixed by music, he listened to the Grand Ole Opry on the radio each Friday night, jumping around on a woodpile in lieu of a stage, and playing a hairbrush as if it was a rhythm guitar. Noticing his enthusiasm, Cynthia Howard bought a used guitar from a neighbor for $7, presented it to her son and taught him two chords. He began striking the strings with a thumb-pick, a practice he continued throughout his career. When a guitar teacher told him to discontinue that method, an already headstrong Mr. Reed dropped the teacher rather than the pick.

Hearing finger-style guitarist Merle Travis play “I Am A Pilgrim” caused young Mr. Reed to aspire to something beyond simplicity.

“I thought when I heard it, ‘Boy, there it is! That man is walking with the big dog. He knows where the bodies are buried, and I want some of that,’” Mr. Reed told Bob Anderson in a 1979 interview.

Another hero was banjo great Earl Scruggs, and Mr. Reed ultimately arrived at a guitar style that fused Scruggs’ rapid torrents of notes with the rhythms heard in Ray Charles’ “What’d I Say.” That is the style that made Mr. Reed an inspiration to generations of guitarists, and though he would not fully realize his signature sound until the 1960s, he spent his high school years honing his musical and performing chops and displaying a talent and magnetism that set him apart from others at school.

In 1954, he played a self-penned song called “Aunt Meg’s Wooden Leg” for Atlanta publisher and radio host Bill Lowery, who began managing and booking the young man. A 30-day tour opening shows for Ernest Tubb and the Texas Troubadours ensued, and the experience was enough to convince Mr. Reed that high school was of little use to him.

“I knew what I was going to spend my life doing,” he later said. “Nothing else made any sense. Nothing else made any difference.”

In 1954, a 17-year-old Mr. Reed played a show in Atlanta in honor of country star Faron Young, who had been discharged from the Army. Ken Nelson ran Capitol Records, and Nelson attended the Atlanta show. Lowery, who had hired Mr. Reed as a disc jockey at Atlanta’s WGST, told Nelson that Capitol could do worse than to sign the cotton mill boy from Georgia.

Reluctant to sign such a young act to Capitol, Nelson acquiesced. He told Mr. Reed to wait until his 18th birthday before recording, and in October of 1955 the men entered a Nashville studio and made a record. First single “If The Good Lord’s Willing And The Creeks Don’t Rise” did not make any great commercial waves, and neither did follow-up single “I’m A Lover, Not A Fighter.” And neither did any others of Mr. Reed’s Capitol recordings, as he flailed about for a form that rang true. He moved through country, pop and rockabilly, to little avail.

“My records were selling like hot cakes: About fifty cents a stack,” he often joked in later years.

In 1958, Mr. Reed ended his association with Capitol. He enlisted in the United States Army in 1959, the same year he married Priscilla “Prissy” Mitchell. Army brass thought Mr. Reed’s talents better suited for a stage than a battlefield, and the would-be warrior became a member of the army’s Circle A Wranglers band. Meanwhile, Lowery kept pitching Mr. Reed’s songs to others. In 1960, Brenda Lee had a Top 10 pop hit with Mr. Reed’s “That’s All You Gotta Do.” That song was the “flip” side of Lee’s wildly popular single “I’m Sorry.” That success was a change for the better, as was a 1961 military discharge and the development of a unique guitar-playing method that would later be called “Claw style.”

“If (Merle) Travis’ thumb and index finger picking style was first generation, and Chet Atkins’ use of thumb, index and middle finger was second, Reed’s use of his entire right hand to pick (the famous “claw” style) was the wild, untamed and dauntingly complex third generation,” wrote historian and journalist Rich Kienzle.

Mr. Reed switched from a steel-stringed acoustic guitar to a nylon-stringed Baldwin model, with an electronic “pickup” that allowed the guitar to be heard above a full band. He signed a Columbia Records contract in 1961, but that deal yielded no hits. His songwriting and session playing proved more lucrative, as he performed on hits for Bobby Bare and he penned Porter Wagoner’s 1962 No. 1 hit, “Misery Loves Company.” And Mr. Reed attracted a high-powered fan in Chet Atkins, the guitar star who ran Nashville’s branch of RCA.

“Chet and I had got friendly, and he told me, ‘You ain’t never going to have a hit recording what’s not you. Just go in there and be what you are.’ Chet thinks I’m funky,” Mr. Reed told Morton Moss of the Los Angeles Herald-Examiner.

Atkins expressed interest in Mr. Reed signing to RCA, and Mr. Reed broke the news to a Columbia Records executive that he would like to go to RCA. “It really broke his heart,” Mr. Reed recalled, later. “Took him about 30 seconds to let me go.”

Atkins was determined to record Mr. Reed as an atypical artist rather than molding him into a pre-established model. In his guitar work and in the songs he wrote, Mr. Reed revealed a humor and a wit that set him apart from other performers and endeared him to audiences.

The key was capturing that in a way that didn’t dull spontaneity or intelligence, and Atkins figured quite correctly that he knew how to do this. Rather than asking Mr. Reed to write or record for a particular audience demographic, as he’d done on Capitol and Columbia, Atkins insisted that Mr. Reed be Mr. Reed.

“I owe almost every bit of success that has come to me to Chet Atkins,” Mr. Reed told the Associated Press in 1999. “He’s a nonconformist, and he suggested that I just play my guitar and sing my songs and he’d release singles.”

The first best result of Mr. Atkins’ prodding was instrumental showcase “The Claw,” so named because of the way Mr. Reed’s hand looked when playing in his intricate style.

Then, Mr. Reed came up with “Guitar Man,” which showcased his guitar work, his voice and his storytelling ability. “Guitar Man” was followed by “Tupelo Mississippi Flash,” which became Mr. Reed’s first Top 20 hit, in 1967. “Tupelo Mississippi Flash” was a funky laugher that poked fun at an industry executive who didn’t understand the power and reach of Elvis Presley.

In fact, Presley recorded two songs from Mr. Reed’s pen, “U.S. Male” and “Guitar Man.” Presley was unhappy with others’ attempts to recreate Mr. Reed’s guitar sound, and Mr. Reed received a telephone call from producer Felton Jarvis, asking how he did what he did. Mr. Reed told Jarvis that the only way to get the Jerry Reed sound was to have Jerry Reed on the session, asserting that most studio players are “straight pickers,” while, “I play with my fingers and tune that guitar up all weird kind of ways.”

Jarvis, and Presley, took note, and Mr. Reed performed on the Presley sessions. It all made sense: The only way to sound like Jerry Reed was to be Jerry Reed......full story at http://www.dnj.com/apps/pbcs.dll/art...EWS01/80902018

 

[steaktartar]

loved jerry...RIP.....

 

[Buster]

loved jerry...RIP.....

he wrote a lot of songs for other people...i have always wondered that about music...many artist write huge hits for other people...you have to ponder whether the song would have been so huge had they recorded it themselves...



P.S thanks for the answer to my question WIL!

 

[BadCo]

He had a lot of friends huh daddy?

 

[Buster]

heheheheheeeeeeee